Romance Ideas

Romance Ideas


Take photos whenever both of you go out. Then use the photos to paste all around the house to remind you of the happy memories.

Send a dozen roses: 11 red roses and 1 white one.
The note: "In every bunch there's one who stands out - and you are that one."


Float a love note in a bottle in the bathtub.

Write him/her a check for one million kisses

Get tulips and attach this note: "I've got two-lips waiting for you!"


Something for the anniversary.... a lottery ticket and a note: "I hit the jackpot when I married you."

Bring flowers home for no reason (well, the reason is love)

Bring home one flower a day for one solid month.


Collect romantic and inspirational quotes. Write them in a journal and give it to your partner as a gift.

Trace "I love you" on a stick of butter or margarine.

Have pillows embroidered with your names, and get monogramed pillow covers.

You can also get some heart-shaped pillows.

Put a new piece of jewelry in her jewelry box and wait for her to notice it.

Use a thesaurus to help you describe your lover: beautiful, angelic, divine, sublime, alluring, bewitching, stunning, gorgeous, exquisite, marvelous, magnificent, charming, enticing, fabulous...

Leave a trail of your clothes from the front door to the bedroom.

Scatter rose petals all over the bed.

Cover the room with helium balloons.

Write notes on Post-it notes and stick them around the house.

Call her at work and ask: "Is this the office of the most beautiful woman in the world?"

Hide a love note in his pants pocket.

Other places to hide a small note:
* under the pillow
* under a dinner plate
* in the refrigerator
* in her jewelry box
* in his shaving kit
* between the pages he/she is reading
* in the take-out box
* in the medicine cabinet

Buy a bunch of fish at a pet store. It doesn't matter what kind. Leave it for your lover with a note saying " Out of all the fish in the sea, you are the one for me".

Pull the bag out of your lovers breakfast cereal box and slit a small hole in it. Insert a love note. Tape up the bag and return it to the box. What a way to start the day!

Build your lover a web page telling them why you love them so much. Mention special moments and add some images and cool links to topics that interest them. Surf the web with them one day and just "stumble upon it". Or have someone send them an anonymous email with the link inviting them to the page.

Fill bathtub with warm water sprinkled with rose petals.

Surprise your lover with a kiss before they can finish a sentence.

Give your love an antique compass and say "You will never lose me". Your love will swear the needle always points to their heart!

55 Ways to get Rid of your Blind Date

55 Ways to get Rid of your Blind Date

1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.

2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table.

3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.

4. Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.

5. Repeat every third third word you say say.

6. Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high school yearbook.

7. Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date.

8. Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly.

9. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about.

10. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.

11. Order a bucket of lard.

12. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.

13. Howl and whistle at womens' legs, especially if you are female.

14. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets.

15. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about themselves.

16. Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.

17. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.

18. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.

19. Drool.

20. Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.

21. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.

22. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?"

23. Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.

24. Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.

25. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up.

26. Ask your date how much money they have with them.

27. Order for your date. Order something nasty.

28. Communicate in mime the entire evening.

29. Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.

30. Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs.

31. Hum. Loudly. In monotone.

32. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements... i.e anything on the table that isn't bolted down.

33. Hold a debate. Take both sides.

34. Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn.

35. Auction your date off for silverware.

36. Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.

37. Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.

38. Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments.

39. Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgement in editing to twist their words around.

40. Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.

41. Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or just nonsense).

42. Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Insist that they just need airing out.

43. If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite.

44. Bring 20 or so candles you, and during the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.

45. Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.

46. Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.

47. Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order coffee, and fill the thermos one cup at a time, taking advantage of the free refills.

48. Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a simliar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it.

49. Accuse your date of espionage.

50. Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults.

51. Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.

52. Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill.

53. Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow.

54. Feed imaginary friends, or toy dolls you've brought along.

55. Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill.

Difference Between Love and Infatuation

Difference Between Love and Infatuation


Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?

There is a big difference between Love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.

Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying.
But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up.
It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

INFATUATION

Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.

Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint?
This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.

Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.

Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.

Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation.
This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if
you are truly in love.

LOVE

Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait

Dating Ideas

Dating Ideas


Give the gift of time (wristwatch) with this inscription: "I'll always have time for you."

Find a four-leaf clover and present it together with this note: "I got lucky when I found you."

Send him/her a romantic card.

Mail a lock of your hair to your lover.

Ask him to pick a number between 1 and 50, then reward him with that number of kisses.

Attach a note on the TV remote: "Turn me on instead!"

Before getting out of bed, face your partner, give him/her a kiss and say: "I'm so thankful I have you in my life."

Place a heart-shaped sticker on your wristwatch to remind you to call.

Hide a pair of earrings in a box of chocolates.

Celebrate the anniversary of when you first met.

Shower together by candlelight.

Warm her bath towel in the dryer for her.

Tell your mate that you - love, adore, admire, cherish, desire, want, need, prize, esteem, idolize, revere, treasure him/her.

Replace the lightbulbs in your bedroom with candles.

Buy her an outfit while she's trying it on; let her wear it out of the store.

Slip a little love note into his wallet, in between the dollar bills.

Be waiting for him in the bathtub when he returns from work.

Shower together: it's sexy and you'll save water :-)

Give him a lottery ticket. Attch a note: "You are one in a million"

While slow dancing at a party, whisper something sweet to her.

When attending a wedding, whisper: "If I had to do it over, I'd marry you again."

Send a love note via Fedex - because your love just can't wait.

Make a 20-foot HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner for your sweetheart.

Take an old bottle of unused medicine capsules. Empty the medicine and insert tiny teeny love notes. Write him a Prescription for Love.

Leave a romantic message on the answering machine.

Put a note in a romance novel saying, "The story is great but our own love story is the best".

Compose a list: "101 Reasons Why I Love You" Write each reason on a separate square of paper. Wrap them in a fancy gift box.

Sprinkle perfume on to light bulb. When light is turned on the scent of the perfume will fill the room.

Dating Advice for Woman Lesson 1

Dating Advice for Woman Lesson 1

Appearance

1. Dress Comfortably

Sure. ALl Men like to see women that are dressed in nice clothes showing some skin. However, that is the reason why women should not reaveal to much skin. Men are selfish. They like to see other women dress in various stages of undress and are genuinely embarrassed when their date is in too little clothes. Moreover, Man do not like to see women keep on tugging at their clothes to make sure they do not reveal too much. Elegant and comfortable wear is always a good gauge. By being comfortable with what you wear, you can also enjoy the night in peace rather then being worried in your dressing.

2. Dress appropriately

Some of us like to look the best whenever we're outside. Obviously, it is nautral that all women are vain by nature and men will be attracted by women who look good. Despite that, the plan can backfire when u try to do sports in long skirts, or attend a function in short skirts. Its always important to dress for the occasion and more important so when you're on a date.

3. Appropriate make up

Its important to put on some make up before going out on a date. However, you dont want to look ghastly in front of your date by applying too much make up or applying the wrong make up. Apply adequate make up for the occasion and you ll look fabulous. If you're one who absolutely hates make up and know nuts abt applying make up, just a simple lipstick will do.

4. Smell good

Men are attracted by their primitive senses. That includes the sense of smell. By smelling good, it helps to give a good impression especially on the first date. By creating an idendity using the smell you always used, your date can also remember you more distinctively. In addition, although women do not sweat as much as men and generally do not stink, it is also always hygienic to shower often. After all, your date would not want to kiss someone who haven't shower for days.

5. Stay in shape

For a long time, women are convinced men are after nothing but sex. Actually its the truth. A man loves a woman as much as he loves her body. A toned lean body is a definite turn on for men compared to one who isnt. Most women might not be born with great bodies. But by hitting the gym regularly, it helps to improve our bodies and make it more attractive. At the same time, its a bonus to be healthier too!

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 1

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 1


Appearance - Clothes and shoes

A women appreciates a man who looks good or at least tries to. Women take great care and effort of what they wear for different occasions and also take note of guys who do the same. Clothes is THE difference between dashing and ordinary. In addition, women do take note of shoes. It explains why they have a whole shoe rack full of shoes. Therefore, choose your shoes wisely too. Although different women have different taste in choice of clothes for men, it is generally acceptable to look neat and tidy. Here are some ways to achieve it.

1. Dressed Suitably

Formal wear are for formal occasions such as dinner in restaurants. T-shirts and jeans are for simple date at the mall. Shorts and singlets are for jogging in your nearby park and so on. You get the picture.

2. Iron your clothes

Its not a very good image to portray if your clothes are crumpled and you go out on a date. A woman will think that you are lazy and do not place any importance on the date.
3. Do NOT wear clothes with vulgarities, sexually suggestive images or words

We know that these clothes might be your favorite as it is very cheeky or portrays your style that you do not give a damn what's happening around. However, its a definite no no for dates as its rude, insensitive and too explicit for any potential girlfriends/wives to take it.

4. Go for well known , respected brands

We do not want you to show off. However, it is always nice to wear something that lets you get noticed by your date. If branded stuff is not your thing, at least get a simple respected brand that do not portray you as a cheapskate.

5. Ask another women for opinion

Lets face it. Man are pretty hopeless at fashion. That's why we hate shopping.(The clothes look the same anyway) To understand what is appropriate, what is nice on you, it is always good to get a female's opinion. After all, your date is another female and it is your date that is going to judge you on your date.

Dating Advice for Men Lesson2

Dating Advice for Men Lesson2


Appearance - General

Not every man is born tall dark and handsome. In fact most are not. However, by looking presentable, every man can still capture the attention of their date. Here are some tips to look nice and presentable.

1. Shave before going out

No women will like the look of a rough beard or moustache sticking out from your face. Although there are the odd few who finds it sexy, chances are its better to look clean shaven and tidy. It gives a better positive image of a person who cares about the date and who takes care of oneself.


2. Bathe often

It not our fault that men have larger sweat glands neither is it our fault that men enjoy sports that makes us soak in sweat. However, it could be our fault if we do not shower frequently. Every woman likes his man to smell nice and look clean. So if you're the type that sweat easily, be prepared to shower more, especially before meeting your date.

3. Get your cologne, aftershave out

Cologne and aftershaves are not for Gays. In fact, women find men who smell nice masculine. Just like bathing often, its also important to smell nice. After all, you do not want to spoil your first kiss with your date just because you smell awful.

4. Smile often

A smile helps to lessen the tension, projects a lively and positive image and best of all, a person always looks the best when you're smiling. We should always be smiling as we never know who is in love with your smile. Therefore practice smiling now if you are going out on a date soon!

5. Do not slouch

Slouching gives a bad impression of a person that is not confident, weak and no sense of security. Therefore, do what your mum always tell you. Stand straight and be proud of your height.

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 3

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 3


Confidence and Success

A confident man is a good looking man. Brad pitt can wear a skirt and yet look macho. However, confidence stems from success. Success in doing whatever you do impresses girls. Woman love a man who knows what they want and what they have done. The more difficult it is to achieve the success, the more impressed the girl. Here are some tips to show your confidence and success.

1. Know your goals

Women loves a man with direction. It gives them a sense of security. Even if you do not have much success in your goals, knowing your goals and letting her know that is the sign of a man who is clear and far sighted. Therefore, if you do not have goals up till now, its time to start thinking.

2. Be yourself

Everybody should be proud of themselves. It says a lot about your confidence. If you're a goofy character, just be one in front of her instead of trying to be somebody else. A women will love you for what your are and not what you try to be.

3. Take Risks, Break rules

Everybody admires risk taker. This includes women. A risk taker is seen as brave and charming as they are doing stuff ordinary people dare not do. This includes breaking conventional rules. It explains why bad boys often attract the best lookers out there.

4. Be knowledgeable

A knowledgeable man is seen as a confident man. A man who speaks wisdom with his every word is deem more successful then a man who craps a lot. So start ordering your newspapers and newsweek magazines now if you have not done so.

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 4

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 4


Behavior

There's a proper way to behave in front of ladies. It is never nice to let women see the rough side of you especially on your first date. Behavior shows your character and whether your relationship can carry on. It is a further step forward after first impressions.

1. Do be chivalrous

Its the 21st century. No doubt that men and women have equal rights. However, there's nothing wrong to continue showing chivalry to women. Opening doors, helping to carry shopping bags, sending her home are all basic courtesy that is on the decline. However, women still loved to be pampered and there's nothing wrong with that. Stick with the ancient code of being a gentleman and you'll never be wrong.

2. Do treat women with respect

Do not ever make sexist or insensitive comments about women. Do not swear and curse when at the waiters just because they give bad service. Listen when your date talks and talk when she stops talking. Treat her properly and chances are you'll leave a lasting impression.

3. Do maintain eye contact

Eye contact is very important to show that you're interested in whatever she's talking. Its extremely disgusting if your date is talking and you are distracted by the chick that just walked by. However, its also important not to stare at her especially if you've just met her as it gives the impression that you are a pervert that is following her every action.

4. Don't get drunk in front of her

Being able to hold your liquor well equates to being strong in front of your mates. However, it is directly the opposite with women. Women hate drunkards as they are rowdy, noisy and totally obnoxious. They are a complete turnoff. Therefore, if possible, drink less if you're out on a date. Best of all, don't drink.

5. Don't get touchy too quickly

When you touch a woman, it breaks down their self defense and they will only allow this when they feel totally at ease and attracted to you. Therefore, unless she touches you or you feel totally at ease with her and that she's attracted to you. Do not touch her too quickly as she might think you only want sex

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 5

Dating Advice for Men Lesson 5



Conversation - what to say and take note

Its always important to say the right things and things that will impress. Its also tremendously important not to say stupid things which may offend your date. You also do not want to bore your date by talking about things she totally cannot relate to. These are some things that you can mention or should take note while striking a conversation.

1. Be open minded

Do not show extremism towards subjects that your date talks about. It might just be something that she cares a lot about. Do not make any crude remarks on anything she says for the same reason. You do not want to leave a bad impression so fast.

2. Talk about common topics

Its a very common tip but its one of the most difficult to master. Man will naturally like to talk about themselves and their interests. However, there's no harm in talking about something in which your date has a huge passion for and you find it boring. There is also no harm talking about hot topics that she might be interested in. If you really are clueless about what to talk to her about, do some research beforehand on what to say. Her friends and appearance are good resources to start from.

3. Compliment and talk about her dressing

As mentioned in Lesson #1, women take great care of their dressing and man should therefore take notice of what women wear and compliment them. However, compliment her casually as you do not want her to think that you're totally captivated by her. You can follow up on her dressing by asking where she bought it and how much it cost. It helps her to feel important.

4. Joke

The sure way to succeed is always humor as women relates witty guys to not boring. No women likes boring guys no matter how good the impression he makes. Jokes can liven the atmosphere and creates a good impression for you.

5. Don't talk about sports, politics or other male gender dominated topics unless she is interested in them too

Men love their sports. Sports competitiveness brings out the excitement and happiness of men. However, most women know nuts about sports. Its no use telling your date about Michael Jordon's glorious history when she is more interested in the cute boyish basketballer on the court. Therefore, unless you want to talk about how cute that basketballer is, steer clear of sports. The same rule applies for other male gender dominated topics.

6. Lastly, Listen

Its no coincidence that women talks much more then men per day. Women love to talk and let their opinions be known. Therefore, its important to listen and appreciate what she says instead of talking all the time. It makes your date feels important.

Women Are Difficult

Women Are Difficult

If you kiss her,
you are not a gentleman
If you don't,
you are not a man

If you praise her,
she thinks you are lying
If you don't,
you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes,
you are a wimp
If you don't,
you are not understanding

If you visit her often,
she thinks you are boring
If you don't,
she accuses you of double-crossing

If you are well dressed,
she says you are a playboy
If you don't,
you are a dull boy

If you are jealous,
she says it's bad
If you don't,
she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance,
she says you didn't respect her
If you don't,
she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late,
she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late,
she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another man,
you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman,
"oh it's natural, we are girls"

If you kiss her once in a while,
she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often,
she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street,
you lack ethics
If you do,
she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

If you stare at another woman,
she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men,
she says that they are just admiring

If you talk,
she wants you to listen
If you listen,
she wants you to talk

In short:

So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful... ....WOMEN!

Rejection Lines

Rejection Lines
(and what they actually mean)

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
(and what they actually mean)

10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)

5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)

1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's the male perspective thing.)

In response...The male perspective on the same issue...

Top 10 rejection lines given by Men
(and what they actually mean...)

10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You're ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)

6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)

5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly.)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly.)

2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)

1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)

Time will Tell

Time will Tell

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"
Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."
Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.
Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."

"I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."
Next, Love saw Sadness passing by.
Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you."
Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."
Then, Love saw Happiness.

Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you."
But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry.

Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"
"It was Time", Knowledge answered.
"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Meaning of Roses

Meaning of Roses


1 Rose
Exceptional love all concentrated on you.

2 Roses
Two of us deeply in love.

3 Roses
I love you.

6 Roses
I want to be yours.

9 Roses
Love each other eternally.

11 Roses
You are the one I love most in my life.

12 Roses
Satisfactory union and mutual affinity.

13 Roses
Secret admirer.

24 Roses
Remember fondly every moment
(24 hours cannot forget you).

33 Roses
Saying "I love you" with PROFOUND LOVE.

36 Roses
Feeling romantic attachment because you come to me.

44 Roses
Constant unchangeable pledge.

50 Roses
This is "Regretless Love".

56 Roses
My love.

66 Roses
Successful love affair.

99 Roses
Love with understanding makes love eternal.

100 Roses
Harmonious union in a century, remain a devoted couple 'till ripe-old age.

101 Roses
No other love but you.

108 Roses
Please marry me!

111 Roses
Eternal love.

123 Roses
Free love.

144 Roses
Loving you day and night eternally.

365 Roses
Thinking of you everyday, love you everyday.

999 Roses
Everlasting and eternal love.

1001 Roses
Faithful love, 'till forever

Love Lesson

Love Lesson

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person’s heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.

Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

Is it Love

Is it Love

1. Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing? and your voice caught within your chest?
it isn't love, it's like.

2. You can't keep your hand off them, am I right?
it isn't love, it's lust

3. Are you proud and eager to show them off?
it isn't love, it's luck

4. Do you want them because you know they're there?
it isn't love, it's loneliness

5. Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
it isn't love, its loyalty

6. Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them?
it isn't love, its pity

7. Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
it isn't love, it's lack of confidence

8. Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
it isn't love, it's infatuation

9. Do you tell them that everyday they are the one you think of?
it isn't love, it's a lie

10. Are you willing to give up all your favorite things for their sake?
it isn't love, it's charity

11. Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
it isn't love, it's friendship

12. Do you accept their faults because it's part of who they are?
then it's love

13. Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
then it's love

14. Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply, it hurts?
then it's love

15. Do you stay because a blinding incomprehensible mix of pain, and elations pulls you close and hold you?
then it's love

16. Are you attracted to others but stay with them faithfully with no regrets?
then it's love

17. Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
then it's love

18. And always remember - love isn't one sided!! - Both must love for LOVE to exist!

I Love You in Different Languages

I Love You in Different Languages

Afrikaans - Ek is lief vir jou

Albanian - te dua

Arabic - Ana Ahebak / Ana Bahibak

Armenian - yes kez shat em siroom

Assyr- Az tha hijthmekem

Alentejano(Portugal) - Gosto De Ti, Porra!

Bahasa Malayu - (Malaysia) Saya cinta mu

Basque - Maite Zaitut

Bengali - Ami Tomake Bahlobashi

Bavarian - I mog di

Bisaya - Nahigugma ko nimo

Bosnian - Ja te volim (formally) or volim-te

Bulgarian - Obicham te

Bulgarian - Obicham te

Burmese- chit pa de

Cantonese - Ngo Oi Nei

Chinese - gnoy oy na
Goi Oi Lei (Hongkong)
Wa Ai Li (Taiwan)

Cambodian - Bon sro lanh oon

Catalan - T'estim (mallorcan)

Croatian - LJUBim te

Czech - miluji te

Danish- Jeg elsker dig

Dutch - Ik hou van jou

English - I love you

Esperanto - Mi amas vim

Estonian - Ma armastan sind / Mina armastan sind (formal)

Farsi - Tora dust midaram

Filipino - Mahal ka ta

Finnish - Minä rakastan sinua

French - Je t'aime

Gaelic - Tá mé i ngrá leat

German - Ich liebe Dich

Greek - S'agapw

Greenlandic - Asavakit

Gujrati - Hoon tane pyar karoochhoon

Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia 'oe

Hebrew - Ani ohevet ota

Hindi - Main tumsey pyaar karta hoon / Maine Pyar Kiya

Hmong - Kuv Hlub Koj

Hungarian - Szeretlek

Hokkien - Wa ai lu

Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Icelandic - Eg elska thig

Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu

Italian - ti amo

Indian - Mai tumase pyar karata hun (male to female) Mai tumase pyar karati hun (female to male)

Irish - taim i' ngra leat

Japanese - Aishiteru

Javanese - Kulo tresno marang panjenengan (formal)
aku terno kowe (informal)

Kapangpangan - Kaluguran daka.

Korean - SA LANG HAE / Na No Sa Lan Hei

Kurdish - Khoshtm Auyt

Laos - Chanrackkun

Latin - Ego te amo

Latvian - Es mîlu Tevi

Lithuanian - As Myliu Tave

Lebanese - Bahibak

Lingala - Nalingi yo

Lojban - mi do prami

Luo - Aheri

Macedonian - Te sakam

Mandarin - Wo Ai Ni

Malteese - Inhobbok hafna

Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Saya cinta mu

Norwegian - Jeg elsker deg

Persian - Tora Doost Darem

Pig Latin - I-yea Ove-lea Ou-yea

Polish - Kocham Cie

Portuguese - Eu te amo (Brazilian)
Eu amo-te (continental)

Punjabi - me tumse pyar ker ta hu'

Romanian - Te iubesc

Russian - Ya tebya liubliu

Serbo-Croatian - Volim te

Sign language -
__ ( )
( ) |__|
|__| __ __| |
| |( )( )|__| __
|__||__||__|| | / )
| (__)(__) | / /
| |/ /
| / /
\ /

Slovenian - ljubim te

Swedish - Jag älskar dig

Swiss German - Ch-ha di gärn

Spanish - Te quiero / te amo / yo amor tu

Swahili - Naku penda

Tagalog - Mahal Kita / Iniibig kita

Tamil - Naan Unnai Khadalikkeren

Telugu - Nenu Ninnu Premisthunnanu

Thai - Khao Raak Thoe / chun raak ter

Turkish - seni seviyorum

Ukranian - Yalleh blutebeh / ya tebe kohayu

Urdu - Mea tum se pyaar karta hu ( when a guy says it)
Mea tum se pyar karti hu (when a gal says it)

Vietnamese - Toi yeu em

Vulcan - Wani ra yana ro aisha

Yugoslavian - Ya te volim

Zazi - Ezhele hezdege

Zulu - Mena Tanda Wen

How Women Think

How Women Think


FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future! re, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome. THANKS A LOT This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"



Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!

Flowers Meaning

Flowers Meaning



Amaryllis Lily
pride and beauty

Azalea
temperance

Bachelor's Buttons
celibacy

Begonia
beware

Camellias
Red: unpretentious excellence
White: exquisite loveliness

Carnations:
Red: my poor heart
Pink: I'll never forget you.
Yellow: disdain
White: sweet and lovely

Chrysanthemum:
Red: I love
White: truth
Yellow: slighted love

Crocus
abuse not
Spring: youthful gladness

Cyclamen
diffidence

Daffodils
regard

Dahlia
changeable

Daisy
innocence

Forget-me-not
constant love

French Marigold
jealousy, discontent

Gladiolus
I'm really sincere

Hibiscus
rare beauty

Hyacinth
sporting
White: discreet loveliness

Hydrangea
Thank you for understanding

Iris
communication; faith; hope

Lilac
Purple: first love
White: youthful innocence

Lily of the Valley
increased happiness

Lily
White: purity

Mistletoe
kiss me

Narcissus
ego

Nasturtium
loyalty

Orchid
love; beauty; refinement

Pansies
consideration

Peony
bashfulness

Ranunculus
radiant charm

Rhodadendron
danger

Roses
Red: love
Yellow: friendship
Pink: young love, romance, first love
White: pure, innocence

Snapdragon
presumption

Sweet William
bravery

Tiger Flower
befriend me friend

40 Things Girls Should Know About Guys

40 Things Girls Should Know About Guys


2. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

3. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

4. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

5. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!

6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

7. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

8. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

9. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

10. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

11. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

12. Shopping is not a sport.

13. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

14. You have enough clothes.

15. You have too many shoes.

16. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

17. Your brother is an idiot, you ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

18. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

19. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

20. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

21. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes -- What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

22. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

23. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

24. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

25. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

26. Check you oil.

27. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

28. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

29. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.

30. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

32. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

33. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

37. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazine.

40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

AND FINALLY, THE NUMBER ONE RULE:
1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

27 Ways to Make a Girl Smile

27 Ways to Make a Girl Smile

1. Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy)

2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5 . Always tell her you love her every second of the day.

6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.

9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

10 . Write her notes. (she loves them)

11 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.

12 . Play with her hair.

13 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.

14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.

15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.

16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night . . . just because you missed her.

17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

18. Carve your names into a tree.

19 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.

20 . Give her piggyback rides.

21 . Bring her flowers

22 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.

23 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

24 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

25 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.



26 . Kiss her in the rain.

27 . If your in love with her . . . tell her.

Men vs Women

Men vs Women


Women

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want

It's your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want. = You'll pay for this later!

We need to talk. = I need to complain.

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house.

I want new curtains. = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there. = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise. = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = {Too late, you're dead}

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep?

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

Men

I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired. = I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you.

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?

I love you. = Let's have sex now.

I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50.00 and it doesn't look that much different!

Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person so that you'd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freaking dress and let's go home

Love Questions

Love Questions


There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him.

Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly :

"When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love.

Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly :

"When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love.

If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with.

In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that u meet that u can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover.

If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone.

In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you.

But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with.

Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart.

If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?

Battle of the Sex-Part 2

Battle of the Sex-Part 2

Low Blows

Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on television. One of the figures is felled by a low blow. The woman says, "Oh gee, that must hurt." The man doubles over and actually feels the pain.

Directions

If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there." and, "I know I'm in the general neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store."

Admitting Mistakes

Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he as wrong was General George Custer.

Richard Gere

Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

Dressing Up

A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

Nicknames

With the exception of female body builders, who call each other names like "Ultimate Pecs" and "Big Turk," women eschew the use of nicknames. If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah, and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah, and Michelle. But if Mike, Dirk, Clint, and Jack go out for a brewski, they will affectionately refer to one another as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Brain, and Useless.

Toys

Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires atleast 6 "D" batteries to operate.

Plants

A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

Mustaches

Some men look good with mustaches. Those men are Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women who look good with mustaches.

Cameras

Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course women always end up taking better pictures.

Locker Rooms

In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women, They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women talk about one thing in the locker room -- sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.

Laundry

Women do the laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were really hip about eight years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatsuit inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of dirty clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to met beautiful women at the Laundromat, but this is only a myth perpetuated by old reruns of Love American Style.

Politics

Men love to talk politics, but often they forget to do political things such as voting. Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedy's is growing up and getting into politics because they will be able to campaign for them and cry on election night.

Weddings

When reminiscing about weddings women talk about "the ceremony." Men talk about "the bachelor party."

Cheerleaders

Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all American. Male cheerleaders are scary.

Garages

Women use garages to park their cars and store their lawnmowers. Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, and they watch TV in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.

Movies

For women their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in Gone With the Wind. For men it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves grapefruit in May Clark's face in Public Enemy.

Battle of the Sex-Part 1

Battle of the Sex-Part 1

Sex

Women prefer 30 to 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 to 45 seconds of foreplay. For the man, driving back to her place is considered a part of foreplay.

Maturity

Women mature at a much faster rate than men. Most 17 year old females can function as adults. Most 17 year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.

Groceries

A woman knows how to shop for groceries. She makes a list of the things she needs, and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man does not shop on a frequent basis. He waits until the only items left in his refrigerator are an opened can of Schlitz and a half a lime. Then he goes grocery shopping. A man buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on the Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10 items or less lane.

Magazines

Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day.

Handwriting

To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary, and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Comedy

Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of the Three Stooges comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge. The woman will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.

Bathrooms

A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from a Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical American women's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Going Out

When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready, as soon as she finds her other earring, makes one phone call and finishes putting on her makeup.

Cats

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Shoes

When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day.

Leg Warmers

Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants. A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in A Chorus Line.

Mirrors

Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface, mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, or Joe Garagiola's head.

Menopause

When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction -- he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

The Telephone

Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Offspring

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in his house.

50 Reasons to be a Woman

50 Reasons to be a Woman


1. Free drinks.

2. Free dinners.

3. Free movies (you get the point).

4. You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.

5. You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.

6. You know The Truth about whether size matters.

7. Speeding ticket? What's that?

8. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.

9. You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school.

10. If you have sex with someone and don't call him the next day, you're not the devil.

11. Condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.

12. If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.

13. If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.

14. You can sleep your way to the top.

15. You can sue the President for sexual harassment.

16. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.

17. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.

18. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.

19. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Tom Selleck.

20. You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.

21. If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally neglected.

22. YOU never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

23. You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.

24. No one passes out when you take off your shoes.

25. If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him.

26. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.

27. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.

28. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass.

29. If you have a zit, you can conceal it.

30. You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.

31. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.

32. You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

33. You have the ability to dress yourself.

34. You have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.

35. You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

36. If you marry someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like.

37. If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's after shave.

38. You'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.

39. You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.

40. You can quickly end any fight by crying.

41. Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.

42. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

43. You've never had a goatee.

44. Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.

45. You'll never regret piercing your ears.

46. You can fully assess a person just by looking at her shoes.

47. You'll never discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.

48. You don't have hair on your back.

49. You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.

50. You get to hate Paris Hilton in the way only another woman truly can.

35 Reasons Why Girls Like Guys

35 Reasons Why Girls Like Guys

Well here are a few reasons that girls like guys

1. The way they always wear their favorite cologne (which happens to be the one that you bought them for their birthday)
2. The way the run their hands through your hair
3. The way that they look at you and you want to die right then and there
4. The way that they casually put their arms around you
5. The way that they kiss away your tears
6. ...and the way that they then get mad at how they can't make your problem go away
7. The way they show off around their friends, even though you both know that you would love them even if they missed a basket or two
8. How there eyes light up at the result of 3 hours of preparing for your date
9. How they always know just what to say to make you blush
10. How they sometimes think that they know just what to say to make you feel better, even if you think that it is the worst thing that they could say
11. The way they hold you close when you are cold
12. How they look at you when your mad at them and all your anger melts away
13. How they always smile when you are together

14. The way that they always let you win any game that you play together
15. ... and then when you point that out to them they pretend to not know what you are talking about
16. The way that they smile at you
17. The way that you feel when they call to apologize after you had a big fight
18. The way that they say I love you
19. The way that they say I love you in front of their friends
20. The way that they touch and hold you so gently, like they are afraid that they will break you
21. The way that they kiss you
22. The way that they open their arms to you when you are crying
23. The way that they never admit that you hurt them
24. The way that they try not to cry when they are afraid that they are losing you
25. The way that they think that they are your big protector, even though you think that you are theirs.
26. The way that they say I miss you, even though they hate to admit it
27. The way that you miss everything about them when they are gone
28. The way that they remember your special moments, or aniversaries when you think that they forgot
29. The way that they apologize when they do forget
30. The way that they comfort you when you have a bad day
31. The way that you can't wait to get home and tell them all about your day
32. The way that they write you love letters even if they think that it is uncool
33. How they would rather be with you then their friends sometime
34. How you want to hug them even though they are all sweaty

35. Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without a trace of sound, you know that your own life is inevitabley comsumed within the rhythimic beatings of his heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing a feeling, that is only felt.

25 Things Guys Like About Girls

25 Things Guys Like About Girls


WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. the way they look good no matter what they wear
10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. the way her hand always finds yours
13. the way they smile
14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. the way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....
16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. actually... just the way they kiss you...
19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. then the way apologize when it does hurt ..(even though we don't admit it!)
23. the way they say "I miss you"
24. the way you miss them
25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

25 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women

25 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women

1. You can enjoy beer all month long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. Hangovers go away.

8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer the bottle is still worth a dime.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.

16. A beer always goes down easy.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know when you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony.

21 Ways to Say I Love You

21 Ways to Say I Love You

1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully) that you can't wait to see her again.

4. Offer her a backrub, without asking for one in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she's sick.

7. Write her a poem.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and bring her something sweet.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one else knows.

15. Remind her that you still think she's beautiful.

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her.

21. Never forget how much she means to you.